Get Your Groove On

One of the most important things to do while going through the divorce process is to get out. Stay busy, social and active. It is too easy to hole up on the couch in misery. Try doing something that occupies your mind so much that you can’t think about what you are going through.

We get it, sometimes you just don’t want to see anyone or talk about “it”. A great way to get out without having to socialize too much is to go see live music. Whether it is rock, country, symphony or one person playing an instrument on a stage, the music can transport you. You don’t need to converse during the show and you can go home after in climb into bed. During that 1-2 hours of music, let yourself go. Feel the music, listen to the words….hell dance like no one is watching.

Some people don’t like concerts, but give it one try. It doesn’t have to be a full on production, there are plenty of smaller venues that are more intimate. If you pick some type of music that you enjoy listening to we bet you will be hard pressed to not have a smile on your face when the show is over.

Below is a list of local venues that offer a variety of music at a variety of pricing. Check one out this week!

King Ave 5 https://kingavenuefive.com/

Rambling House http://www.ramblinghousesoda.com

Newport Music Hall, The Basement, Express Live, AR Music Bar http://www.promowestlive.com/

Jeanne B McCoy Music Center For The Arts http://www.mccoycenter.org/

Columbus Symphony http://www.columbussymphony.com/

The Schottenstein Center https://www.schottensteincenter.com/

Natalie’s Coal Fired Pizza and Live Music https://nataliescoalfiredpizza.com/

Lincoln Theatre https://www.lincolntheatrecolumbus.com/

The Blue Stone http://liveatthebluestone.com/

Woodlands Tavern http://woodlandstavern.com/

Byrne’s Pub http://www.byrnespub.com/

Turtle Creek Tavern http://www.turtlecreektavern.com

Fenders Live Music and Spirits http://www.fenderscolumbus.com/

#GivingTuesday

It may seem like you are bleeding money right now. Everyone wants a piece of you, kids, spouse, ex-spouse, attorney, therapist, new home, new apartment, CPA’s, new car, new bills….not to mention the holiday gifts that are still on the list. The holiday season can be stressful and overwhelming. Take a step back, reflect and remember, we get back what we give out. This #GivingTuesday, donate your time, talent or treasure to something you feel connected to. Not only will you put yourself in the holiday spirit, you will be helping those less fortunate.

There is no shortage of need in the Greater Columbus metropolitan area. Below are some local groups that could use your donation. Just about every 5013C is asking for your donation, so it should be easy to find a worthy cause that you connect with. It doesn’t take much and every little bit helps.

Clintonville Community Resources Center – For more than forty years, CRC has been making a difference in the lives of Clintonville neighbors. Many lives have been improved or sustained by the services CRC provides. CRC promotes self-sufficiency while respecting individual worth, rights and dignity.  Thus creating a greater quality of life for everyone throughout the community.  http://www.clintonvillecrc.org  @thecrc

Sam’s Fan’s –  Supporting and enhancing music and art therapy programs that serve seriously ill patients and their families.  http://www.samsfans.org  @samsfans15

Flying Horse Farms – Flying Horse Farms provides magical, transformative camp experiences for children with serious illnesses and their families – free of charge. Located in Mt. Gilead, Ohio, camp first opened its gates in 2010 and hosts about 900 children and families each year.  http://www.flyinghorsefarms.org @flyinghorsefarm

Charity Newsies– The mission of Charity Newsies is that no child shall be kept out of school for lack of adequate clothing. http://www.charitynewsies.org  @charitynewsies

YWCA Family Center – The YWCA Family Center provides emergency shelter and critical services to stabilize homeless families in central Ohio. A national model, our goal is to help families find housing within 3 weeks of entering the program. http://www.ywcacolumbus.org/site/PageServer?pagename=services_familycenter  @ywcacolumbus

Giving Up The Power

I just left a yoga class, which gave me profound insight into my own psyche and I feel the need to share. My favorite yoga teacher, Lara Falberg, usually starts the class with a message or something to get you thinking. Although her message was geared toward giving up your power of needing the pose to look a certain way, the message resonated with my everyday power struggle. Why do we give so much power to what doesn’t feed us? Another way to think about it is, why do we give thoughts and energy to what truly doesn’t matter in the big scheme of life? Stop giving power to what is not feeding your soul, your energy, your thoughts. So often we get wrapped up in what is right or being right and realistically it doesn’t matter. By giving our thoughts and energy to what really doesn’t fuel us is a waste. The more power we relinquish to those wasted thoughts, the more power someone else has in controlling them for us. Letting go of what really doesn’t matter or what really won’t make a difference just to prove a point is a waste of time. To paraphrase Lara, it doesn’t matter how the pose looks…it matters how it feels. Only you know how it feels. If only you know what is right, then give that strength of knowing the truth the ability to fuel your thoughts and confidence. It is only a matter of time before the truth will set you free.

If your are trying to right your life whether it be by choice or by force…check your ego at the door and stop giving others power. You need power within to get through this. The other person is likely never going to admit your right. The fighting and wasted thoughts you spend give them the power and leave you without it. The more powerful you FEEL on the inside will give you the powerful don’t fuck with me look on the outside…and really that is all you need. Confidence, strength and power over your own self will move you forward.

“Take a moment to just breathe and transition from how you got here to just being here” - Lara Falberg

Don’t forget to take care of yourself during this time. Yoga can definitely help. You just might leave a class feeling like you left a therapy session…and it costs a hell of a lot less. I sure did today. Thanks Lara.

www.iworkbarefoot.com

The Do's & Don'ts of Divorce by Jennifer Joseph

The process of divorce makes seen the most sane people do, or consider doing, crazy things. No wonder the divorce process is also called “Crazy time”. The following Do’s and Don’ts, while appearing common sense, or even comical, come from actual experiences:

  1. Don’t put your spouse’s clothes, etc. in trash bags and then “accidentally” leave them curbside for your spouse to pick up on the same morning that your trash is picked up.

  2. Don’t cancel your spouse’s credit cards when he/she is in the middle of a business lunch.

  3. Don’t bring your “new friend” into the marital home to meet the children, or have a beer, or help paint.

  4. Don’t pull money out of accounts and give it to a friend to “hold”.

  5. Don’t listen to the legal advice of your neighbors, your sister’s husband or your mother’s bridge group.

  6. Don’t listen tho the advice of your soon to be ex-spouse.

  7. Don’t drink and drive.

  8. Don’t drink to excess.

  9. Don’t do drugs.

  10. Don’t quit your job and become the towns serial bank robber.

  11. Don’t drive the kids without seatbelts on or child seats as required by law.

  12. Don’t ignore your child when he/she says, “it hurts”. Possibly it is a broken bone. Have it checked out.

  13. Don’t push your spouse over a pile of boxes.

  14. Don’t hit your children.

  15. Don’t put moms/dads picture on a dart board or punching bag for the kids.

  16. DOn’t make your child get out of the car in a dangerous neighborhood and then drive away as a punishment.

  17. Don’t yell at your lawyer, he or she may be your only friend.

  18. Don’t yell at your lawyer’s staff, they are your only other friends.

  19. Don’t ignore your child’s suicide threats.

  20. Don’t forget o call the police or ambulance if you spouse calls you while he or she is in the process of committing suicide.

  21. Don’t lie to your lawyer, or he/she won’t be able to protect you.

  22. Don’t expect quick justice.

  23. Don’t get married again unless you have a prenuptial agreement.

  24. Don’t shoplift.

  25. Don’t take your child on a car repossession trip.

  26. Don’t say bad things to the children about your spouse.

  27. Don’t hide the phone so your kids can’t call their other parent.

  28. Don’t violate a restraining order by assuming a false name and traveling out of state with the children.

  29. Don’t violate a restraining order period.

  30. Don’t have your new “friend” beat up your spouse.

  31. Don’t date, but if you ignore this, don’t date someone who smokes marijuana for his/her migraine headaches or who has a criminal background.

  32. Don’t have internet affairs.

  33. Don’t give strange people the names and addresses of your children, with photos, when on the internet.

  34. Don‘t try to abduct your child at school as a method of obtaining custody.

  35. Don’t ask your attorney to assist in #33 above.

  36. Don’t allow your child to run after your other child with meat cleaver.

  37. Don’t threaten your spouse with bodily harm, such as death or cutting their legs off.

  38. Don’t live with your ex-spouse and ask for child support.

  39. Don’t forget to tell your attorney if you and your spouse have reconciled.

  40. Don’t forget to visit your kids if you have companionship.

  41. Don’t take off with the kids moments before your ex-spouse will show up for his/her companionship.

  42. Don’t forget to feed your children nutritious meals, pizza daily does not qualify.

  43. Don’t forget to tell your attorney if you are gay.

  44. Don’t go out to meet your gay friends at 11:00PM, leaving your children home alone, and then later state you needed a Klondike ice cream bar.

  45. Don’t accept a telephone call from your spouse’s attorney, when your attorney is out of town.

  46. Don’t forget to tell your attorney that you are pregnant.

  47. Don’t forget to tell your attorney that your girlfriend is pregnant.

  48. Don’t forget to tell your attorney that you are pregnant and it is not your spouse’s child.

  49. Don’t hit on your attorney, they will not date you after your divorce is final. Period.

  50. Don’t go to the Park Of Roses, and have sex under a bush with your “friend”.

  51. Don’t have sex with your new “friend” in the living room with the curtains open and if you violate this rule, look for the videographer in the window.

  52. When court ordered to take a psychological test, don’t leave the test area and sneak a call to your attorney to ask how you should answer certain questions.

  53. Don’t quit your six figure job and start flipping burgers to avoid child support-spousal support.

  54. Don’t cancel the children’s health insurance policies.

  55. Don’t wear your wife’s earrings as a tie clip just to annoy her.

  56. Don’t have sex with your wife’s niece.

  57. Don’t file bankruptcy thinking your can escape child or spousal support.

  58. Don’t inflict corporal punishment on your child.

  59. Don’t call your child ignorant” or “retarded” and then call your attorney and ask if this is going to look bad on your parental skills.

Visit us at https://josephandjoseph.com/ for more of what to do when getting divorced or if you have questions on getting started on the divorce process.

What Does A Life Coach Do? Five Outcomes From You Should Expect From Coaching. By Lisa Panos

When I first embarked upon my path as a life coach, I distinctly recall the raised eyebrows and blank stares from those unfamiliar with my chosen profession. In the years since, I have noticed a distinct shift in the initial reactions I receive and my declaration is now met with knowing head nods. While the reception may be changing as life coaching becomes more prevalent, to this day the follow-up question is almost always the same: “What exactly does a life coach do?”

I often begin by saying what it is a life coach isn’t. Life coaches are not therapists or mental health professionals. We aren’t metaphysical mystics or spiritual healers. We don’t give legal advice and we can’t balance a client’s checkbook. I prefer to say that we are more akin to personal trainers for the mind. A personal trainer may take a physical self that is atrophied from lack of use and bloated from too many Taco Tuesdays and Wine Wednesdays and find the potential buried within. Life coaches, on the other hand, strip away the sense of self burdened by years of excuses and beaten down by negative inner narratives and help uncover a client’s best self.

Where I find that analogy breaks down for some people is they begin envisioning the washboard abs and thoroughbred thighs a personal trainer can promise. But what then is the life coach equivalent? Below are five outcomes you can and should expect from your life coach.

  1. Clarity – We spend much of our lives developing coping mechanisms designed to help us accept our lives as they are and excuses designed to protect us from possible failure and pain. A life coach will help you imagine what your life COULD be and most importantly what you want it to be. You will begin to connect your head and heart to turn passions into dreams and learn how to create what you crave.

  2. Strategy – A life coach will teach you to actively change your life by design instead of by default. Coaches address specific projects or challenges, whether personal or professional, examine what the obstacles might be, and help you choose a course of action.

  3. Liberty – Coaching is designed to empower clients to understand that they don’t need to be given the answers. Instead, coaches are trained to ask questions and use specific tools to provide a roadmap for clients to unlock the answers within. You will learn how to make your own unequivocal and unapologetic decisions to achieve your success.

  4. Community – Life coaches often work both with individuals and in small group workshops. One of the beautiful outcomes of workshops is the sense of togetherness and fellowship that develops between participants. Inevitably they draw strength from shared experience. But even in one-on-one sessions, a life coach will use his/her personal journeys and combine those with stories of other clients to provide proof of possibility.

  5. Accountability – When you choose to work with a life coach, you are blessed with your greatest cheerleader, but also challenged with a relentless taskmaster. Coaches don’t seek to see people’s walls and tear them down; instead, they get people to the point where they are ready to see their own walls and tear them down themselves. But the coach will always be there to double check the demolition and hold clients accountable to their vision.

While these five outcomes may not be as aesthetically pleasing as a six pack, I firmly believe they will have an even more profound impact on your wellbeing. When you’re ready for clarity, strategy, liberty, community and accountability, I look forward to HEARING FROM YOU.

Lisa Panos, Life Coach

https://lisapanos.com/

Refinance in the fall

The fall season is the perfect time to consider refinancing. If you’re unsure about why you should consider it, we’re going to help you.

The following are some of the most popular reasons people decide to refinance in the fall.

The Holidays Are Coming

If people lower their mortgage payments, they will have more money they can put towards gifts during the holidays. Even a savings of a couple hundred dollars can do wonders for holiday budgets, so let us help you keep your head above financial waters this year.

Setting Up the New Year for Financial Success

The year is ending, and people are reflecting on the past year. Some of them may be a bit stressed about their finances, and refinancing can be a way to relieve some of that paycheck to paycheck way of life. Let us help find ways to relieve some of the financial stress – let’s talk about how much you really can save per month by refinancing.

Lower Monthly Payments or Downsizing

With the housing market slowing down due to the holidays and colder months, many people are considering a move in the new year. This is especially true for people who are looking to downsize. But if you really don’t want to move, consider the option of refinancing instead of downsizing, which would allow you to stay in your current home. If you don’t decide to refinance, we are ready to help finance a new home.

Save Money Over Time

For people who have a mortgage with a high mortgage rate, they can save a lot of money by refinancing. Take a look at your current rate, and compare it to what the rate is now. Add in how much money you could save if you decide to refinance – savings over time means a lot to your future.

Get Estimates

Not all mortgage companies, banks and brokers are created equal. Each have different charges, closing costs etc. It is a good idea to talk to 2 or 3 companies. I can give names of trusted people who I work with and do a great job. Contact us today to get started.

Moving in? It’s time to create a home inventory

Homeowner and renter insurance plans are designed to protect you in the event of a disaster such as a fire. But with all the items in an average household, it’s imperative that you document your belongings so that you can file an accurate and timely claim should you need to. When moving, many families buy new appliances or furniture and in some cases get rid of other items. That’s why once you’re settled into your new home, it’s an ideal time to create or update your home inventory. Here are the three components of an effective home inventory:

Photos or video. You can take photos or video, but you’ll want shots of entire rooms and close-ups of items such as electronics, jewelry, collectibles, guns and any individual items of significant value. It’s a good idea if you’re using video to provide a narration as you walk through each room, explaining what you are recording.

A written inventory. You’ll also want to prepare a written inventory of your belongings. You can create a Word document on your computer or use a blank sheet of paper or a worksheet like this one from the National Association of Realtors. Keep your written inventory with receipts for items you’ve purchased.

Safe storage. If you have a fireproof safe, keep both your visual and written inventories there or in another safe place. You also may want to keep a copy off-site as well, in a safe-deposit box or with a trusted friend or family member. If your written and visual inventory is saved electronically, make sure it’s backed up.

Having a home inventory makes surviving and dealing with a home disaster a lot less stressful. Could you imagine trying to recount every single item in your home that was damaged, destroyed or stolen? With a home inventory, you’re more ready for the unexpected.

The Biggest Home Improvement Mistake That Folks Make

Homeowners are expected to spend a near record $317 billion on home improvement this year. \

The trend is expected to continue, as areas have fewer homes for sale and homeowners have little incentive to move from homes with record low fixed mortgage rates, experts say.

What's the biggest home improvement mistake that most folks make? Over-improving one's home can be the costliest, housing experts say. Remodeling magazine found that only attic insulation netted an immediate return on investment (108%). A new entry door was next best (91%). Even the popular minor kitchen remodel only netted an 80% return. 

In time, these improvements will net a return. But sometimes homeowners customize and overspend, thinking they'll sell at a profit in the future, but are unlikely to ever recoup their investments. There is no harm in over spending if you realize that it won’t get you a return, but if you are doing solely for the return, it’s best to do some research first.